"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

The Story of Logan

In Memory of Logan David

On Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 10:07am David and I gave birth to a stillborn baby boy. He weighed 1 lb 7 oz and was 11” long. He had Aubrey’s mouth, Daddy’s hands and Mommy’s feet. We thought Logan looked just like his older sister. David and I had Logan Baptized.

The facts:
At the routine 18 week Ultrasound, just before Christmas, the doctor thought I had a “low placenta” and requested that I have an additional Ultrasound done at the next monthly check up, just to be sure the placenta was migrating upwards. To our knowledge nothing else was detected. On Wednesday, January 21st, I went in for the additional Ultrasound where the doctor discovered some physical abnormalities with the baby and scheduled me to have a “more advanced Ultrasound, and more advanced opinions” done at the hospital on Friday morning. During the advanced Ultrasound the new doctor found that the baby had developed Hydrops Fetalis (a severe accumulation of fluid) and had passed (he believed sometime Wednesday evening). The doctor told us that the condition was a fatal prognosis, and it appeared that the baby had had the condition “for sometime”. We were then told that I would have to deliver the baby immediately. The induction process started around noon on Friday. I received an amniocentesis and had blood drawn for lab work. Logan was delivered Saturday morning at 10:07am. The delivery was quick and fairly pain free as I was given a strong Epidural on Friday. David and I were able to hold our baby boy for almost two hours. Logan was not malformed. David and I were advised to send Logan’s body to The University of Michigan for a complete Autopsy.  At our two week check up we were told that Logan had Down Syndrome and in the end the autopsy reported that most of Logan's organs had not fromed properly.  He never stood a chance.  Several months later UofM returned Logan's ashes to us and we eventually placed his ashes in a heart shaped urn and placed that urn inside of a teddy bear made from the fur of stillborn Alpaca's.  It seemed fitting.  Its been a long hard road.  We have scars and came out on the other side damaged, broken, but alive.  There isn't a day that goes by where we don't think of Logan, wonder what life would have been like, what he would have been like.  But, we're moving on and trying to look to the future these days.

Sparrow Farm Creations Memorial Prints

Songs for Logan

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