"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.


Its the little things...


The little things. The stupid insignificant things. The ones that shouldn't matter, but now suddenly do. I hate those things. I hate the mountains that are made out of every mole hill. I hate that my heart breaks so easily now days, that I feel so burnt out, so raw, so abused. I hate that it is so easy for people to hurt me, to offend me, to leave me feeling abondoned. I hate that I have to force myself to let my daughter out of my site. I hate that I fear for her life, jump at every bump, scream at every fall, fear every tiny questionable thing. I hate what this has done to me.


5 comments:

Franchesca Cox said...

I hate it too. It changes our world forever. My heart hurts for you and all of us babylost mamas


xx

Karen said...

I so get that. (((Hugs)))

Catherine W said...

Me too. I feel that my skin has become so much thinner since I lost my daughter. Things that would not have bothered me in the past, they sting so much now.
Love to you xo

Michele said...

I find that my sympathy for others has decreased. I want to say "Really? You are whining about that?" This does change your entire outlook...

KuKd Chick said...

I totally know what you mean about the little things. I wonder sometimes who this person is that I've become - oversensitive, overemotional about what seem like silly things. Argh!

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