"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows
Why We're Here...
My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.
Here I am, pacing another hospital room, trying to come to terms with another dead baby. Two dead babies now. Logan ia now joined by a sibling we long ago nicknamed Rudy. A sibling only in existance a mere five and a half weeks.
Rudy was Ectopic. Located half way down my right falopian tube. A tiny, miniscule, actively beating heart pulled mercilessly from my shocked body by a robot.
I am supposed to be happy that I am alive. Lucky, they say.
Guess I'm not there just yet.
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5 comments:
Oh Heather, oh I'm so so sorry.
Your poor little Rudy.
Sending love and hugs.
xxx
Heather, I am so very sorry to read this. Just so sorry. My heart goes out to you and your dear little Rudy. xo
I can't even believe I'm reading this. I am so, so very sorry. (( ))
Oh, Heather! So sorry to hear! The only experience I have with ectopic pregnancies is knowing about the one my grandmother had before she got pregnant with my dad... good things can come of them - it's just hard to see that through the painful blur of the present. Sending hugs!
I keep stopping by, starting to comment, then deleting everything because there just are no words. ((hug))
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