Because even if you think everyone has forgotten...

...There is usually someone out there who remembers. Crystal over at Calvin's Cupcakes remembered Logan's third anniversary on January 24th and made this for us.

So many times we go around feeling like we are alone in our misery. No one remembers that you were pregnant, that there was a living being here on this earth that looked just like you or your beloved. People forget that every day you pine for that tiny soul. People forget that shoving their big bellies in your face, or their newborns reminds you of how broken and lost you really are, what you've lost, what you may never have again... Its human nature to forget, maybe God's grace. I dunno. Out of sight, out of mind. We can't begrudge them [even if secretly we want to poke them in their perfect world, everything functions as it should, ignorant and blissful little eye!] and just when you think that every last soul on this earth (except maybe your beloved) has forgotten that you had a precious baby once too, someone comes along with a nudge to tell you they remember.

Thanks Crystal.

In Good Company, a stolen post.

I read an excellent post today on She Brings Joy about being in Good Company when it comes to loss and the people in the Bible. I have often talked and posted about my struggles with my faith in Christ since the death of my son. And many are left with the impression that I no longer believe. And try as I may to convince people that I do still believe in God, just a different version than most people are familiar with, most people either come at me with verses that make no sense and have no bearing on my situation (therefor arguing God's case and or trying to defend Him, as if He needs their defense), or they dismiss me for being ignorant in the Word (which I freely admit to). The point is, "Anger is not disbelief." And though I freely admit to my anger towards God I know that he will meet me where I am, and work on me with what I have to offer. God can take my anger the same any parent can deal with the anger of a toddler. He takes it in stride, he understands it. He created the emotion.

I have no shame in my anger with God.

And now there is proof!

Trolling blogland today I came across a link on Beauty from Ashes to an article published on Yahoo! about the higher risk of death among parents of stillbirth and neonatal deaths with in the first ten years of their child's death. I copied it below for your edification:

From Yahoo! News (that's a link to the original article)

Parents who lose a new baby run a high risk themselves of dying prematurely,
according to a British study published on Thursday.

Investigators delved
into a random sample of national death registrations for the years 1971 to
2006.

They compared deaths among parents who had been bereaved in the
first year of a child's life or whose child had been stillborn, against deaths
among parents whose baby had survived beyond the first year.

Bereaved
parents were between two and four times likelier to die or become widowed in the
first 10 years of the child's death compared with non-bereaved counterparts.

Mothers in particular were at threat.

Bereaved mothers in England
and Wales were four times likelier to die prematurely, and bereaved mothers in
Scotland six times likelier, than women whose child had survived beyond the
first year of life.

The risk for mothers lessened slightly over time,
but was still significant -- 50 percent higher -- after 25 years. After 35
years, it was 20 percent higher.

The reasons for the mortality are
unclear because the data do not give the details.

The authors speculate
there could be a link with alcohol abuse among bereaved parents, and suicide,
too, may be a factor.

Alternatively, stillbirth and infant deaths could
be more common among parents who themselves are in poor health.

The
research, headed by Mairi Harper of the University of York in northern England,
appears in the specialist journal BMJ Supportive and Palliative Care.

:::

So, there you have it. As if being the parent of a dead baby wasn't bad enough, now we have to fear our own premature deaths! Sigh.

Knocked Up, Knocked Down - Monica Murphy LeMoine

This is Monica's book. She blogs about her miscarriages/stillbirth and subsequent real live take home baby over at Knocked Up, Knocked Down. Which is where you can also order her book by the same name. Its a great read, full of her typical satire and foul mouthed outlook on the land of dead babies and what it means to be a "Half-Mom". Seriously, check it out.

A hilarious post!

Angie over at Still Life with Circles posted this little movie! It is so hilarious! Go check it out. No one gets dead baby humor like a fellow DBM in the trenches!