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Thursday, January 29, 2009
Yesterday was by far my hardest day since we got home. David had Jury duty so I spent the morning reading blogs of woman in similar shoes, far worse shoes perhaps, and waddling in my self pity. Bed time seems to be the hardest time. I couldn’t shake it last night. I lay in David’s arms and cried my eyes out for what seemed like hours.
I’m tired of hearing “everything happens for a reason” and crap about God.
This morning we took Aubrey in for her well baby and OF COURSE there was a woman in there with a baby boy. It hasn’t even been a week since Logan died. You’d think God would give me at least a week of some sort of peace!
On a funny note, Aubrey thinks it’s hilarious when I bawl, which cracks me up. Her smiles and David’s love are the only lights I have right now.
David and his mother went through Logan’s memory box this evening. I’m concerned about them seeing his pictures. Even David hasn’t seen them yet. They’re so hoaky. They posed him with props and tried so hard to make him look like a live baby. I wish I had taken pictures on my own, but who thinks of that sort of thing? I wanted to remember his back, and his belly and his elbows…
Yesterday was by far my hardest day since we got home. David had Jury duty so I spent the morning reading blogs of woman in similar shoes, far worse shoes perhaps, and waddling in my self pity. Bed time seems to be the hardest time. I couldn’t shake it last night. I lay in David’s arms and cried my eyes out for what seemed like hours.
I’m tired of hearing “everything happens for a reason” and crap about God.
This morning we took Aubrey in for her well baby and OF COURSE there was a woman in there with a baby boy. It hasn’t even been a week since Logan died. You’d think God would give me at least a week of some sort of peace!
On a funny note, Aubrey thinks it’s hilarious when I bawl, which cracks me up. Her smiles and David’s love are the only lights I have right now.
David and his mother went through Logan’s memory box this evening. I’m concerned about them seeing his pictures. Even David hasn’t seen them yet. They’re so hoaky. They posed him with props and tried so hard to make him look like a live baby. I wish I had taken pictures on my own, but who thinks of that sort of thing? I wanted to remember his back, and his belly and his elbows…
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1 comments:
I want you to know I'm sending you a hug right now, and then I'm leaving to go to the hospital to pick up Leila's pictures. Your journey is helping me get through this. My hope for you is that you start to feel some peace about Logan's short life, and that God continues to provide the strength you need to get from one day to the next.
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