"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows
Why We're Here...
My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.
I came across a recommendation for this poem while reading a post on
Glow In The Woods this evening. I couldn't have said this better! I thought it was such a poignant way of describing this monster known as grief!
Death Barged In
by Kathleen Sheeder Bonanno
In his Russian greatcoat
slamming open the door
with an unpardonable bang,
and he has been here ever since.
He changes everything,
rearranges the furniture,
his hand hovers by the phone;
he will answer now, he says;
he will be the answer.
Tonight he sits down to dinner
at the head of the table as we eat, mute;
later, he climbs into bed between us.
Even as I sit here, he stands behind me
clamping two colossal hands on my shoulders
and bends down and whispers to my neck,
From now on, you write about me.
From Slamming Open the Door by Kathleen Sheedar Bonanno. Copyright © 2009 by Kathleen Sheedar Bonanno.
You can find the original posting on Poetry.org by clicking
here.
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