"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

In Memory of Logan David

In Memory of Logan David

On Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 10:07am David and I gave birth to a stillborn baby boy. He weighed 1 lb 7 oz and was 11” long. He had Aubrey’s mouth, Daddy’s hands and Mommy’s feet. We thought Logan looked just like his older sister. David and I had Logan Baptized.

The facts:
At the routine 18 week Ultrasound, just before Christmas, the doctor thought I had a “low placenta” and requested that I have an additional Ultrasound done at the next monthly check up, just to be sure the placenta was migrating upwards. To our knowledge nothing else was detected. On Wednesday, January 21st, I went in for the additional Ultrasound where the doctor discovered some physical abnormalities with the baby and scheduled me to have a “more advanced Ultrasound, and more advanced opinions” done at the hospital on Friday morning. During the advanced Ultrasound the new doctor found that the baby had developed Hydrops Fetalis (a severe accumulation of fluid) and had passed (he believed sometime Wednesday evening). The doctor told us that the condition was a fatal prognosis, and it appeared that the baby had had the condition “for sometime”. We were then told that I would have to deliver the baby immediately. The induction process started around noon on Friday. I received an amniocentesis and had blood drawn for lab work. Logan was delivered Saturday morning at 10:07am. The delivery was quick and fairly pain free as I was given a strong Epidural on Friday. David and I were able to hold our baby boy for almost two hours. Logan was not malformed. David and I were advised to send Logan’s body to The University of Michigan for a complete Autopsy. The results of the autopsy could take months. There are literally a thousand reasons for Hydrops, and the doctor wouldn’t even speculate on what may have happened. Hydrops is a “symptom” of a larger problem. There is a possibility that the Autopsy may not reveal what went wrong. David and I were advised to wait for the results of the Autopsy and emotional healing before trying to conceive again. At this time neither of us can answer the question about future children. U of M holds a Memorial Service for parents in this situation, which David and I will be attending. Logan will be laid to rest in the Memorial Garden there.


Barbara said...

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet son Logan.

Wishing you peace.

Rachel said...

Oh my goodness. I happened to find you through Emily Wilberg's blog and I am struck by how similar our stories are. My son Ryan was born 6 weeks early on January 24, 2005. His older brother turned 3 five days later. Ryan was not stillborn but was born with what was finally diagnosed as CHARGE Syndrome. He passed 9 weeks later April 2nd. Unfortunately we are in this club but at least there is comfort in the support from each other.

Anonymous said...

Ok I have something to ask? If your baby was already passed why did they do an amino?

Heather said...

They do an amnio to find out WHY he passed. It's one of many tests performed. I wanted to know why he died. The amnio revealed it was from complications due to Down Syndrome.

Anonymous said...

Wow I thought the genetic testing they do when they have an autopsy would reveal that?It did when I lost my daughter. I have never heard of them giving a women a amino after their baby has passed. I guess we learn something new everyday.

Kris said...

I am not sure if you are aware or not but the Trisomy 18 Foundation has a chance of winning a Million dollars from the Chase/Facebook giving campaign.

For all the children who have graced our lives, living or remembered . . . let's change the future of Trisomy 18 research into treatments for them! Be their voice in the world. Watch this video. Vote yourself. And share widely with others! http://tinyurl.com/T18video

michelle said...

my child passed mar 3 2011, he was born with downsyndrome oct 4th 2010 and he was perfect, we were so happy but he had major heart problems due to downsyndrome and the surgery did not go well, he passed at alomost 5 months old. He was our only child and he was magical. I also have a blog which goes on to tell how incredible and unique he was. I am so very sorry for your loss as well, we will never forget.

Chastity Landon said...

my twins died 5 weeks ago so im right there too! im so sorry! <3

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