"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows
Why We're Here...
My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.
I used to be a poet. Not the happy sweat poet. My poetry was dark and sad. Its how I used to cope with my overbearing emotions. But since logan's death, the saddest possible day of my life this far, I've had writers block. And though I feel like this blog has helped me to work through a lot of the darkness, I realized tonight that my writers block is due to the fact that I feel like my words are severely inadequate.
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2 comments:
Heather, I'm sorry that you are experiencing writers block. Hope things turn around for you. It can be so frustrating when the Art we know seems lost to us. Your post fascinates me. Here's why:
I'm a musician and when my daughter died, I felt like music was dead to me too. I couldn't sing, I couldn't read new songs, I couldn't play the piano and I couldn't create music. It was gone. But, I was writing poetry like mad and seeing images, that I drew, tried to paint and photographed. I have this suspicion that this phenomenon is not rare, but probably typical. I thought it so rare that my music skills were unavailable to me, but other art skills were exploding out of me.
This happened to me too. I missed several deadlines and finally had to back away from my staff writing job. I've written a few pieces in the last 2 years but they are few and far between.
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