Whew! Right?

Thank you guys. Your reassuring comments are helpful.


I took the test this morning. 1 pink line. So...I'm not pregnant. Which is great. And that sucks. But honestly I have to say I'm not ready. I've rejected taking my pills for the past 6 months. Like my rebellion makes it better. And since I'm high risk for Spina Bifida, the fact that I quit taking my folic acid scared me. So, guess I'll be taking those again. I have too much to worry about already, and adding my fear of SB on top of it because I was an idiot and quit taking my pills is just foolish. Plus, I realized last night that this is the same time that I got pregnant with Logan, which means that had I have been pregnant now I would be due in May...the same time as Logan. I don't want that. Plus I feel like Logan's loss is still just to fresh for me and my grief is too raw to be able to enjoy the prospect of another child at this moment. So, though I feel sad, I think I am more relieved and if nothing else I sure have talked myself into believing that it's better this way. I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with a messed up cycle. I really worked myself in to a tizzy. I made an appointment the other day to get in with a new Ob/Gyn in a couple of weeks. I really need to get my hormones checked.


I will be taking my laptop with me this weekend, so I'll be sure to add a new question of the week to The Dead Baby Club Blog on time. Plus, I've gotten pretty good at mobile blogging. Yeah, I'm a dork, you can laugh.