"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

Ultrasound & PCOS

So tomorrow morning I go in for an ultrasound of my ovaries to check for the possibility of cysts that could indicate PCOS. Just more hormone checking I guess. The pathetic thing is that I'm more anxiety ridden over going through the ultrasound process (ON MY UNPREGNANT BELLY!!) than I am about the potential of having the incurable PCOS. The thought of laying there with my belly exposed going through the same routine I've gone through when there was a baby in there, except that now I'll get to see that for sure there isn't one in there...well, its just one more reminder that I'm no longer pregnant...and to go along with the birth control I've recently started to use to help regulate my hormones (with the horrifying side effect of baby prevention!!)...well, lets just say its a wonderful little reminder of what is no longer, what isn't currently, and what won't be for a positive minimum of three months while trying to straighten out my hormones. Ooh yay! Hello Monday.


Mary said...

I know how you feel. I had to do an US a month ago to check for cysts or fibroids and it just didn't seem the same being there. Hope tomorrow is one of those days that we work ourselves up for and end up not being as bad as we thought. You will be in my prayers.

bebou said...

Exactly. At the ultrasound I had to check my fibroids I barely looked. Same room, a sonographer who remembered me...

Hope the answers are good.


Barbara said...

Sorry Heather, that's me above, signed into the wrong go.og.le account!


KuKd Chick said...

I totally know how you feel. Once a bad experience in the ultrasound, always a bad experience - at least that's how our minds look at things, I'm pretty sure. I think your anxiety makes perfect sense. Best of luck with this exam. Deep breathing exercises beforehand, maybe? A shot of tequilla? ;-)

Heather said...

Go with the tequila! ;) I was dx w PCOS after my son was born, before my twins that I lost. 7 mo.s of meds (hat can't be taken while pregnant :( ) along with exercise and diet changes got my insulin back under control (I think, I have to go get re-checked again in Jan). I kow what you mean about the birth contrl for your hormones, I cant try again until Dec. b/c of the c-cest and blood loss...which I am ambivalent about right now.
I hope you get through today OK, will be thinking of you.

Michele said...

Just a note... I have PCOS and my u/s have never been abdominal ones. They are always vaginal ones. I was taken aback for the first one, where I was diagnosed, because I'd never had a vag u/s before.

I hope you have a good appt and no PCOS diagnosis!

foxygal1 said...

with the US for PCOS, is it a general US on the tummy?

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