"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

What the!? Is that a light I see??

I just thought I'd post and let everyone know that I am doing better this week and seem to have come out of my latest pit. The comments and encouragement I receive on this blog help me in a way that is incomprehensible. I'm not alone. I'm not crazy. I'm not going to die. I know that because of all of the wonderful people here in babyloss blogland who help to keep my head from going completely under. Thanks you guys.


Michele said...

I'm glad today is a better day. I remember my first okay day after Nick and Sophie died... Sun was streaming into a window and I just... felt... them. Like that warm sun. It was late February, a week or so after, and I just wanted... needed... to feel that sun on my face. I remember hearing the song "here comes the sun" by the Beatles and feeling like I had to go for a walk. I was still unstable on my feet, so Peter went with me and we walked around the block. That sun... it felt so real, so much like them. I could even smell them on it, I swear.

One step at a time, one day at a time. That is all we can do. Sending warmth...

Monique said...

Glad you're having some gentler moments. Sending love. xo

My Very Own Angel said...

I'm glad that all us mothers of angels can help you naviagte through the good and the bad times. I have seen you become a more graceful women in these last few weeks.

Thinking of you


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