"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

What's with this sun?

Why is it that prior to Logan’s birth we had endless days of clouds. And now, it seems like every day is sunny. It seems wrong that the sun should be shinning now. Is God giving a crap about me? Maybe that’s why there is sun. Maybe the clouds would make it sadder around here…is that even possible? The bitter cold weighs it all out though. It’s like bittersweet. Deceptively warm sun…arctic air. It fit’s I suppose.

I’m ready for this year to be over, and it’s only January.

I’ve cried every day.


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