"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

If it could get worse...just wait, it will.

Could it get any worse? Sure. It always can. It always does. I got a call Tuesday (in the midst of this chaos and drama called my family) about some blood work my new OB sent me in for regarding the fact that my mom has mini strokes. He wanted to check for a clotting disorder, just in case. If I choose to get pregnant again, this is something they would need to know. So I went. Nothing was wrong with me, and I knew it. I mean, what are the odds? Apparently pretty freaking good.

“Some of the test came back abnormal”
“Abnormal for what?”
“Well it appears that you may have Lupus.”

Oh, is that it? [She asks herself sarcastically] Why not? After all, look at my odds for anything bad lately. So in the last thirteen months I’ve gotten pregnant, had a perfect daughter, got gall bladder disease, had the said gall removed (therefore I have no more gall), got pregnant with a son, was told son was abnormal, had son die, gave birth to dead son, was told son had Down Syndrome and now it looks like I might have Lupus! I mean why not? Bring it on. Because right now I feel like if it could go wrong, it probably will.


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