"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

A scrapbook page for Logan

I finished a scrapbook page for Logan that I just love. So far I’ve done 3 ½ pages. This particular page is of the day we found out we were pregnant. It was our first family photo of all four of us. My daughter is wearing a shirt that says Big Sister on it. I had it made since I couldn’t find one in her size (6 months at the time) and that is how we wanted to break the news to our parents. I didn’t do this on purpose, but I’ve since come to think of it this way…I recorded that day’s memory on a tag that is tucked between two hearts; Logan’s story, hidden between mine and David’s heart. It adds something to the whole page for me. I named the page “Great Expectations” because we had such great expectations. EXPECTATIONS!! I expected to have a second child. I find the feelings I have while scrapping Logan are odd. I probably wouldn’t have given this page that title had I scrapped it while I was pregnant. I made an entire scrapbook of my first pregnancy, and just the pregnancy. With Logan, it’s not that it wasn’t as important…but a second pregnancy just didn’t have the same “thing”. I don’t know how else to put it. So, the title of this page seems a little cynical or something. Regardless, I really like this layout.


Barbara said...

That's lovely!


Jennifer said...

Beautiful page! I love everything about it including the name.


Matt said...

There is something nice about creating something to face a loss. I admire that you are facing it the way you are. I wish I didn't try so hard to avoid thinking about the loss of my daughter that soon after.

Emily said...

Gorgeous. It can be so hard to scrapbook our babies- I totally know what you mean. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Sherry said...

It's beautiful!

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