"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

It only hurts when I breathe!

Jason left a comment about my blog yesterday in which he states that he likes my blog title. So, I got to thinking what was the reason for my title? Where did it come from? I remember when I was sitting here trying to think of a title it just popped into my head. It took a split second and when I thought of it I knew it was perfect. So today I decided to search for that phrase online. I'm sure something prompted the title into my head. David and I thought it was a song or something...it sounded vaguely familiar. Turns out, we were right. Shania Twain has a song called "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing". I'm a country music fan (though admitedly not much of a fan oh her music), so it made sense that I knew this song. I must've heard it around the time I started my blog. Anyhow, I looked it up.
Here are the Lyrics:

Hope life's been good to you since you've been gone.
I'm doin' fine now--I've finally moved on.
It's not so bad--I'm not that sad.

I'm not surprised just how well I survived.
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive.
I can't complain--I'm free again.

And it only hurts when I'm breathing.
My heart only breaks when it's beating.
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming.
So, I hold my breath--to forget.

Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night.
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right.
I've never looked back--as a matter of fact.

[Repeat Chorus]

It only hurts when I breathe.
Mmm, no, I've never looked back--as a matter fact
[Repeat Chorus]

Hurts when I'm breathing.
Breaks when it's beating.
Die when I'm dreaming.

It only hurts when I breathe.

So, there you have it. Break up songs. They always fit don't they? The chorus lines anyhow. I thought the chorus of this song fit perfect. I've often felt that if I held my breath... I've added this song to Logan's playlist. If you stick around long enough you'll hear it...or you could just click on the song in the playlist, it'll start playing automatically.


Jason said...

Thanks for the background information on the title of your blog. I've never heard this song before and I do really like the chorus. I wish I was a more knowledgeable music collector/listener. Poetry and music can say so much in so few words. Friends and family have shared some songs that helped them through difficult times, but all of the songs are about people who have lived long full lives. These songs hold no value or meaning for my sweet boy who lived 41 weeks inside my wife’s belly, but his imprint on my life is no less significant. Maybe you or your readers can suggest some more music that holds special meaning to you/them.

May peace find you.

Honor. Treasure. Remember.

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