Yesterday's post was a little misunderstood...I think. It's not that I'm afraid to LOOSE my grief, because frankly, I wouldn't mind that at all! I'm afraid I'm loosing TO my grief. I feel like I am going under a little more everyday and that it's beating me.
I don't know what my problem is. I mean, any more so than any other given day. But these last few days I can't shake it. I feel engulfed by darkness. Not just the weepies and boo hoo's...but dark, scary, all encompassing, hell-like feelings. Maybe it's what real depression looks like. I don't know. But it scares me. I don't want to go there. Ever see the movie with Robin Williams "What Dreams May Come"? That place. Where the wife is. That's where I am. I hate being here.
I don't know what my problem is. I mean, any more so than any other given day. But these last few days I can't shake it. I feel engulfed by darkness. Not just the weepies and boo hoo's...but dark, scary, all encompassing, hell-like feelings. Maybe it's what real depression looks like. I don't know. But it scares me. I don't want to go there. Ever see the movie with Robin Williams "What Dreams May Come"? That place. Where the wife is. That's where I am. I hate being here.
2 comments:
Ah... my mistake.
It's still so very very fresh for you, it will get better and worse and easier and harder and one day you'll be ok.
xxx
So sorry you're feeling so depressed - it can be a very scary place. But you will get through it - I know it doesn't feel like that right now though.
Look after yourself, N x
Post a Comment