"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

All you need now is a little brother! (Really?)

"All you need is a little brother now!"

That's what the waitress said to my daughter and husband this evening as he was paying for our dinner. I heard it over at my table. That's the only thing I heard her say. Odd how those words found their way over to my ears, half way across the loud restaurant. My husband just played it off, of course. Like any of us would ever pounce on an innocent waitress with "Yea, well she had one...he died!" That would be cruel. Satisfying, but cruel. She's a nice waitress and obviously didn't and wouldn't have meant a cruel thing by it. Sigh. We take those comments in stride now a days. They still sting. They still hang heavy in the air. We still notice, think about, and even dwell on those comments. Months ago a comment like that would have gone in one ear and out the other. Never a second thought about it. But not now. Just another cruel reminder (on top of the endless TV shows and movies) that we've taken a pretty hefty blow from the universe.


angie said...

you are a better person than me. i think i might have said it. but i am pretty freaking blunt these days.

sending you much love.

Ter said...

Well, I would have said something myself, if for no other reason than to just make sure people are aware of my daughter. *sigh* I mean, I understand why some people don't, and it's all about personal preference, but myself I always say something. I know people get uncomfortable with the situation but it makes me uncomfortable to pretend she doesn't exist or to ignore their comments. (even if they aren't being cruel or anything, it's just informative, not much different than saying 'oh she does have a brother but he's at home with his grandma today because he has a cold", you know?, it shouldn't be anyway!

I'm sorry you had to overhear that.

(ironically, word verification: suckes)

Mrs. Spit said...

I'm sorry. Those things hurt, perhaps because they take us so much by surprise.

mom2nji said...

I understand that feeling. It does hang in the air when people make comments like that, I am sure for them its not even noticed but for you it feels like the world stops.
Thank you for stopping by my blog and I am following you back on twitter. Her is Kai's story http://mom2nji.blogspot.com/2009/03/2-years-ago-today-warning-not-happy.html

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