"You get what you pay for, but I just had no intention of living this way." -Counting Crows

Why We're Here...

My husband David and I delivered a stillborn Baby Boy that we loved, and wanted. Our first and only son, Logan, had Down Syndrome. Our daughter's smile is a little light in the darkness. She turned one year old three days after our sweet Logan tip-toed away on January 24, 2009. After 2 1/2 years we found out we were having another baby, whom we affectionatly called Rudy. Just shy of 6 weeks we found out Rudy was Ectopic. Rudy was surgically removed on May 26, 2011 delivering another blow to our already broken hearts.

Logan's Afghan

On Easter I was finally presentable enough to have my photo taken, even though I still managed to have my hair in a pony tail. Here is a picture of me with the afghan that Chandos over at The T21 Traveling Afghan Project made for me in memory of Logan. The Afghan is just perfect, and even smells good. I know, that's weird that I noticed it, but I did. I love the afghan. At the moment I have it placed with all of the other "memories" of Logan. Thank you again for this precious gift to our family.


Ter said...

((hugs)) Don't you worry about your hair being up in a ponytail, it looks good. I clicked the photo to see it in full size and what I really like is that you can see the emotions so very clearly. I have, on occasion, tried to take photos of myself when I am upset, because there are days when I'm doing "ok" and people say "oh cheer up, you always look so sad" and I say "well you should see me when I'm in the depths of my grief"


Thanks for sharing. I hope that blanket brings you comfort many times. I keep my daughter's blanket in the safe, I'm so afraid of losing it!

I'm going to look at the link you posted.

Lea said...

Beautiful picture and beautiful afghan....it was nice to see you. Thank you for sharing. What a precious gift.


Ssejors said...

You look beautiful. You look like a strong woman. Your emotions are there and that is what is real. No one notices that your hair is tied up. What I saw was a woman who has had to put herself out of pain to move on, and that take amazing strength. Please know that my heart goes out to you and I send on what strength I can to help you. All our love and hope to you and your family.

Jessica, Hunter and David.

Melanie said...

Heather, I know I am commenting way after you posted this. I hope you get it anyway. I just found your site and have read every single one of your blogs to this point. I had to comment on this picture of you. There is such a deep sadness in your eyes that is so familiar. I have no comforting words of wisdom other than I know what you are going through. You are not alone in your pain and grief. I want to thank you for blogging and introducing us to your beloved son Logan. I have grown so attached to him in reading your blogs and sharing him with us has been a wonderful blessing for us. I wish I had the knowledge and strength to blog and speak about my son Ian back in 2005. I feel like I am reading my own words and looking at myself. It is comforting for me and I can't thank you enough. Melanie

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