Under the Tree Questions for March

Do you have a special place in your home for your baby?

No. I have been toying with the idea to do so. At the moment my son is scattered through out the house. His name print from my cousin is in the dining room. His memory box and blanket are sitting in the trunk in my bedroom, but it also spends a lot of time in my scrapbook room. I recently received an Afghan in memory of Logan, I've yet to decide where to keep that. I would like to have a special place for my son, I'm just not sure where to do it, or what I want it to be like.

Do you have any rituals that you perform in memory of your baby?

I used to look at his pictures every night, or touch his blanket on the way to bed. But after a while I began to think it just made me sadder, so I stopped. I guess now I would have to say that my ritual is blogging about my grief.

If you believe in an afterlife, do you receive signs from your baby? Have you ever felt their presence? Do you find them in nature? Do they visit you in your dreams?

I believe in an afterlife. And no. I do not receive signs, feel his presence or see him in nature. I have begged God to give me dreams of my son, but I have yet to receive any.

Do you have a special poem, song, prayer or quote in memory of your baby?

Yes. Several. I wrote my son a poem to go on his cover page of his scrapbook. It reads like this:

"Sweet baby, you tip-toed in and out so quietly, your life but a whisper in this world. Such a tiny hand that left an enormous imprint on this heart. My first son, how quickly we did part. A lifetime of love I have for you, now trapped in this heart that breaks a million times each day. Your eyes; a beauty I’ll never see, your cries; music for no ones ears and your smile is for God alone to enjoy. Sweet baby, you tip-toed in and out so quietly, but your life was no whisper in Mommy’s world."

I also like the verse that my cousin used on his name print from Samuel 12:23 "He shall not return to me...but I shall go to him." And just about every sad love song I hear reminds me of my Logan. Music "speaks" to me. It would be far to hard for me to name them all.